The Wanna-Be Puerto Rican Diaries: When in PR...
As the saying goes, "Blondes have more fun." Pssh. Try being Puerto Rican
Though I have been to Puerto Rico before, I now have a mature observation of what the young people are like here. Here's my take on them.
[Please be advised that the following statements are a little out of my character.]
- The Male Puerto Rican Species – Dear sweet Mary and Joseph, I am in the land of gorgeous Latino men. Thus far, the male market here has definitely exceeded my expectations, though I would like to point out that my assumptions that the majority of the male population is sub 5"7 is in fact correct, but there are a select few that are taller than that that really should just walk around shirtless.
- BONUS: The dudes can dance too! If you like a man who can dance and sound absolutely adorable when trying to speak English (if they cannot already since a large portion of the population can) this or any other Latin country should do. I feel like Argentinian dudes are taller. Hmmm... Next trip!
- ATTENTION VISITING LADIES: Beware the old creepers that do exist and the ones that come here to vacation, I mean, I know those types are everywhere, but here they appear to be especially stalkerish and gross.
- The Female Puerto Rican Species – Gorgeous. Bodacious. Insane dance moves. Racks of steel. The men on this island literally have it made, but I guess so do a lot of the old creepers that come here for vacation. I would like to mention that my alter-ego is Puerto Rican and her name is Inez and she is incredibly sexy. Unfortunately, she does not seem to be coming out to play, since I have been here – I guess she can't convince people of her "Puerto Rican" heritage. Carajo.
- BONUS: They're friendly for the most part, if you look like a hopeless chick – they'll help integrate you in the group and teach you some sweet moves. All hips, baby.
- ATTENTION VISITING MEN: To date a Puerto Rican woman, you have to be a REAL man, none of that talk the talk junk, these chicas like action. Additionally, you're going to get your heart broken or your nuts crushed – these ladies do not play around and are ridiculously scary drivers.
On a night out on the town, I saw some women that legitimately didn't look real – they were just too perfect! Their perfection did in fact render me speechless and I too, felt like a gawking member of the male species as they passed me with their luscious locks of Caribbean perfection and voluptuous curves. Is there a store that sells stuff like that?! I mean, I guess plastic surgery would do the trick, but like, come on! You're setting a standard that is too unreasonable to be met. Oh, well.
Where I am staying:The Gallery Inn, Old San Juan
The Gallery is this gorgeous old victorian bed and breakfast that I just happen to be living in for a month – I got lucky enough to work here!
All that said and done, here are some rad pictures and a cool video that I am sure you'll enjoy – after all, a picture is worth a thousand words, so...
|OLD SAN JUAN, PUERTO RICO | Nice view from one of the balconies of the hotel.|
|CALLE SAN SEBASTIAN | Down this cozy little street and all around this area are a slew of cutesy shops and restaurants. I went to one with my boss for "Sunday Funday" – we just drank mango margaritas, had beer and some food.|
Before I arrived in Puerto Rico, my knowledge of the fare served on this island was limited. Of course, having a Puerto Rican aunt helped a little and I was familiar with a few dishes, like pasteles and fried plantains, but as a whole, I wasn't too sure what the cuisine was all about aside from being deep fried and lacking in vegetables.
Yesterday, my boss, Jan D'Esopo and I went out for lunch to enjoy drinks and also talk business at her favorite little place, the Palmas Restaurante. There we had a plethora of mango margaritas and beer as well as ordering some arroz con pollo or chicken and rice.
The way they served it, it resembled a Puerto Rican version of Chinese chicken stir fry – every country seems to have a similar dish. The dish was garnished with what seemed to be a single bell pepper and also came with tostones on the side.
I was not really familiar with the side until I arrived and realized that a large staple of this culture involves plantains. Tostones are mashed plantains that they deep fry – you can enjoy them plain or dip them in guava sauce (also a popular condiment). Plantains are literally used everywhere – chips, dessert, flour, paste, etc.
Try this bad boy out for size.